Ho Ho Ho
A German guy approaches a prostitute and says, ' I vish to buy sex
vit you'
'OK' says the girl, 'I'll charge 100 Euros an hour'
'Ist goot, But I must varn you, I am a little kinky'
'No problem' she replies cautiously, 'I can do a little kinky'
So off they go to the girl's flat, where the German produces four
large bedsprings and a duck caller.
'I vant you to tie ze springs to your handz und kneez.' The girl
finds this very strange, but complies, fastening the springs to her hands
and knees.
'Now pleez you vill get on your handz and kneez.' She duly does
this, balancing on the springs.
'You vill please blow zis duck caller as I make love to you.' She
finds all this very odd, but figures it's harmless, and the guy is paying.
The sex is fantastic. The energetic German bounces her all over
the room, all the time with her honking on the duck caller. The sex is the
most sensational she has ever experienced, and it is several minutes
before she has recovered her breath. Finally she gasps 'That was totally
amazing....... what do you call that?'
Wait For It....................................................
'Ah', says the German, 'Four-sprung duck technique'
Just a laugh no ofence ment
THE LOVE DRESS
>>
>> A woman stopped by, unannounced, at her son's house.
>>
>> She knocked on the door then immediately
>> walked in. She was shocked to see her
>> daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked.
>>
>> Soft music was playing, and the aroma of
>> perfume filled the room.
>>
>> 'What are you doing?' she asked.
>>
>> 'I'm waiting for Justin to come home from
>> work.' The daughter-in-law answered.
>>
>> ' But you're naked!' the mother-in-law exclaimed.
>>
>> 'This is my love dress,' the daughter-in-law explained.
>>
>> 'Love dress? But you're naked!'
>>
>> 'Justin loves me to wear this dress,' she explained.
>>
>> 'Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and
>> ravages me for hours.'
>>
>> The mother-in-law left. When she got home she undressed, showered, put on
>> her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay on the
>> couch waiting for her husband to arrive.
>>
>> Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her lying there so
>> provocatively.
>>
>> ' What are you doing?' he asked.
>>
>> 'This is my love dress,' she whispered, sensually.
>>
>> 'Needs ironing,' he said, 'What's for dinner
>>
Men don't you just love em
Not some of them on the Isle of Man!
Not some of them on the Isle of Man!
Apologies for doing the comment twice but as you know, us ladies can do two things at once! Sorry - couldn't resist....