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Winding down -incentives and a "solution"

Posted 17/11/2008 - 18:48 by IoM-neveragain

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Another "solution" to all our dilemas - just ramblings of an anxious mind.

I SPY WITH MY LITTLE FL I.....

Posted 17/11/2008 - 18:36 by Lucky Jim

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Many a true word is spoken in jest.... soon we will be laughing !

My CBMarkII is no ordinary wizzard's crystal ball. It is the latest invention developed from my IT experience working under-cover for (( CENSORED BY GCHQ)).
It has wind-up power - necessary for MI6 agents working in remote parts of the earth such as Pakistan - & operates with the very latest real-time Google Earth software that is now incorporated in NASA 'spy' sats used by the CIA for covert operations in WAT (War Against Terror)

The receiver is, of course, a 3-D globe and the 'eye' is a tiny remote-controlled robot fly -- called FLI (Field Location Interceptor) which has the ability to zoom down to ground zero where bald heads looked the size of footballs.

After spending some time on the ksfiomdepositors' Forum, where many good people were fed up with waiting for news, I decided to power up my CB and have a stroll down Whitehall to see what I could find out. Within minutes my CB was humming away silently.
I zoomed the GLD (Geo Location Detector) onto UK>>>London>>>Whitehall & sent in the FLI when I had located Downing Street. There was a 2 minute time laps for FLI to hit GZ (Ground-Zero). It buzzed around on RC (Random Control) until it's magic eye spotted lighs burning late at night in the Treasury. I sent it a signal to HIT (Home In Tradectory)

FLI alighed on a pile of pigeon dung, fag ends and cigar buts on the window sill. I signalled it to enter the window which was slightly ajar. FLI flew around to discover that several large rooms had been set up in Whitehall with fast Internet conferencing facility & hot lines. It was all reminiscent of the wartime opertions bunker. FLI passed down the corridor until it spoted a room that had a notice on the door 'KSFIOM Operations'.

It entered via the keyhole where it saw a crowd of bleary-eyed people slumped around a large desk. It soon ascertained from the papers on the table that these men were from:

-- the Treasury, the Foreign Office, the Cabinet Office,
-- officials from the Bank of England, representatives from the IMF & other European Union organisations
-- a group of expert advisers -- cost-benefit chaps, risk analysers, crisis managers, 'damage-limitation' experts, 'face-savers', 'strategic planners', etc..

FLI landed on a piece of paper on the floor where it uploaded an image of the document from which I read that the chief co-ordinator of this cotery was a Knighted Civil Servant from the Treasury, Sir As..... ((CENSORED)) accompanied by a chief advisor from the Foreign Office & Diplomatic Corps, along with a large secretariat.

The floor was littered with empty whiskey bottles & reams of screwed up paper. Evidently men who that morning had arrived in suits with ties round their knecks were now slumped in shirt sleeves with ties undone, their whiskey glasses empty, peering at PC spreadsheets that danced with figures that they had lost interest in hours ago.

Suddenly everyone sat upright to attention as Sir As..... ((CENSORED)) entered the room carrying a file on top of a sealed crate.

He nodded to everyone as he sat down in a large worn red leather chair which was Sir. Winston Churchill's wartime office chair. He took a sip of water....the room was thick with suspense.... he started to speak.... I turned up FLI's microphone to hear:

"Gentlemen,
Now that you have drunk Scotland dry of whiskey...(laughter...& a burp...then another burp --.more laughter) I am pleased to say that ENIG-MASHIT ((auto moderated text-ON)) has been able to crack the problem of WBC ( CB flashed interpretation: World Banking Crisis). Our ENIG-MASHIT chaps have been over at the US Department of Energy's Argonne National Laboratory in Chicago for 3 weeks with access to the world's most powerful computer Blue Gene/P. It has been crunching trillions of figures for 18 days, but did not come up with a solution until this morning when our boys noticed that one of them had made an error in a vital input ...he had inadvertantly put in KSFIOM in lower case because the computer's cap-lock didn't ...er...lock. (there was a roar of laughter in the room)

Now Gentlemen, Blue Gene/P. has not only given us the answers as to where all the money in the world has gone, it has also generated for us the political sound bites that now relieves us all around this table of having to write the speaches for the PM & Darling. The team leader of our Chicargo operation ((code-name : JIM-L-FIXIT)) has given me the print-out from Blue Gene/P.

Gentlemen, remember the International Community has already agreed to abide by the findings of Blue Gene/P. I will now give you the chapter that refers to the Icelandic banks & KSFIOM"

Men who had looked dead a few minutes previously were now looking like field athletes on the starting block. Eager eyes gobbled up the text of Supercomp Blue Gene/P.

-- the IMF will make Iceland a loan of $6billion with the a proviso that it accepts responsibility for restoring all creditors of its collapsed banks, including depositors in the off-shore subsidiaries of those banks. The Icelandic Government was a beneficiary of its mushrooming international banking operation but had not anticipated it ever having to be held accountable for making good the losses it would incur if the banking system were to collapse. It must make good the guarantees that were given by the banking sector as a whole, guarantees that were implicit in the banking code under the FSA. Those guarantees must be made explicit & honoured if confidence and fiscal competence is to be restored.

-- the Icelandic Government will deposit the loan in its Nationalised Kaupthing Bank whose remit must now include revised terms that enable it to inherit from its dead 'parent' the Parental undertakings that it had given to its subsidiaries.

-- Since UK citizens who are involved had been denied opportunity to bank on-shore in the UK, HM Government will agree to make a further loan+grant to the Icelandic Government of sufficient order that would enable UK depositors' money to be restored to them. Appendix 7 para 7 subsection 7 has a draft of the face-saving words for either the PM or the Chancellor to explain how this has been possible through an Order in Council persuant to the relevant banking regulations.

-- depositors wishing to remain with the Bank will have their money guaranteed by the Isle of Man Government with the UK Government acting as guarantors in the event of default. This will be in accord with new legislation bringing elements of the IOM FSA under the umbrella of that of the UK.

"Now gentlemen, you may leave the rest of the document until the morning. I have brought with me a crate of champagne -- let's crack the bottles & toast Blue Gene/P. ....and by the way, you will all be in line for a knighthood.and receive a generous bonus for having come up with such a marvellous face-saving solution for the Prime Minister & the Chancellor"

"To Blue Gene/P. !"..."to Blue Gene/P !" they all cheered..


Note: Blue Gene/P. the world's biggest computer REALLY DOES EXIST !
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue_Gene


IOM Team Update

Posted 17/11/2008 - 18:01 by 208

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IOM Update

Following Steve’s (expat) departure from the island, the IOM team thought it would be helpful to give the forum an update on matters in the Isle of Man.

Censorship

Posted 17/11/2008 - 16:55 by namsak

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Since messages which do not contain foul language, adult themes, racism, sexism or personal information but which don't fit in with the web site controllers idea of how things should proceed are now b

New Class Action/Group Litigation

Posted 17/11/2008 - 15:24 by Gibson and Co

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"Dear Users,

SELLING THE BANK

Posted 17/11/2008 - 12:18 by Anonymous

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In Mike Simpson’s update of 14 November he states that confidential discussions with various stakeholders regarding the sale of all or part of KSF (IoM) are still underway.

Importance of Icesave agreement

Posted 17/11/2008 - 10:06 by dodot

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I think the agreement announced on compensation by Iceland of Icesave account holders in the UK is the best news we have had since this process started.

We made #1 on Google

Posted 17/11/2008 - 05:08 by ng

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No big deal really, but right now we're #1 on Google if you search for Kaupthing Isle of Man.

A possible way out for the UK and IoM governments?

Posted 17/11/2008 - 03:15 by AJM UAE

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Something blindingly simple occurred to me yesterday.

Ted Turner looses mega millions in Icelandic Banks

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Just heard an interview on CNN with Ted Turner who said he's just lost millions & millions in the Icelandic banking fiasco! So, we're not the only "fools" to have banked with such banks!

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IMPORTANT: New postings are now handled slightly differently

Posted 16/11/2008 - 15:47 by ng

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[updated]

Where your post "goes to" by default

LETTER FROM MIKE SIMPSON

Posted 16/11/2008 - 11:17 by PGS

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Many thanks to those who manage the site - you're doing a fantastic job keeping us all up to date.

Fixed term deposits with the Derbyshire which had not reached full term before the 8th of October.

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It would be interesting know how many of us were tied into fixed term deposits with the Derbyshire which had not reached full term before the 8th of October.

STATEMENT FOLLOWING DIVER STEPPING DOWN

Posted 11/11/2008 - 04:21 by Lucky Jim

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STATEMENT BY FORUM ADMIN/MODERATOR

The Administration Order for KSFUK - including the order sealing the court file

Posted 05/11/2008 - 00:27 by Anonymous

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The Administration Order for KSFUK - including the order sealing the court file

PDF file

Effect on Financial Islands if this one goes down...!!!

Posted 04/11/2008 - 07:50 by Alan Mauritius

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Meeting With IOM Treasury Minister 02/11/2008

Posted 03/11/2008 - 16:15 by 208

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Meeting with IOM Minister of Finance Nov 2 2008

Present the Right Honourable Alan Bell
Dave Braddan and Lynn
bblair
Expat

Position Paper

Posted 01/11/2008 - 23:30 by allyourbase

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Position Paper - by Allyourbase

To view the Word Document, with correct formatting, version click (or right-click and select Save Target As...) the ksmiom.doc attachment below.

Where has the media and MP contact page gone - can't find it to get addresses to mail out press release???

Posted 23/10/2008 - 13:37 by FalconVet

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[ng: Moved to core (not public) until we have a consistent strategy on publishing these. Talk to PR team before moving this back to a public area.]

Dear site admin person (s),

Video Interviews (News Media)

Posted 17/10/2008 - 12:49 by skintagainnow

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Thanks to the excellent work of skintagainnow, the KSFIOM Depositors Action Group now has its own YouTube channel where he has been posting videos related to our cause. You can find them here

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