Can I just check, it was the "ANTI Terrorist Act" that they used, right?

  • ng
  • 11/10/08 31/12/20
  • a depositor
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Posted: Tue, 21/10/2008 - 11:52

So many sad stories on here, people having their lives ruined. Elsewhere I'm reading too about people having lost everything and feeling suicidal. Sadly, all this tends to happen when terrorism is involved.

Maybe I need to check the dictionary definition of Terrorist. Trying to identify who the Terrorists were in this case, I can come to only one conclusion.

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My Savings in IoM

  • Anonymous
  • Offline
  • Wed, 22/10/2008 - 00:59

Sir,

Following my recent release from Guantanamo Bay where I had been detained for 4 years, i have found that my funds have been seized by the UK Government as you believe me to be a Terrorist. My money was being held for me by Kaupthing Singer & Freidlander on the Isle of Man.

My sincere apologies for questioning your intelligence sources, as history shows them to be usually correct. However, in this particular instance I regret to inform you that your esteemed intelligence sources may have made a slight mistake.

I was found absolutely innocent by the very kind and gentle Guantanamo torture squads. Their investigations had been intensely thorough (They had carefully removed my toenails, while having to endure my terrible and very selfish screams) and were double checked by their Ex KGB consultant, Ivor Ngokerbolokov (who verified the findings by use of electromechanical instruments and my very own genitalia). I had, in fact, just found the AK47 and 200,000 rounds of ammunition laying around, which I was bringing to my very nice friends visiting from America.

So, as you can see, it has just been a minor technical mistake to seize my KSF(IoM) money using your excellent, and always correctly used, terrorism laws. So, if you could possible just give me back my money (that was a gift from a friend currently on the Afghanistan/Pakistan border) I’ll just be on my way after picking up a few essentials from the local Garden Shop (fertilizer, petrol, steel tubes, etc….).

Your very faithful servant

F. Akeid